In a move that may have far reaching consequences, Google announced today that they’ve cracked a technology for identifying terrorists of all shades - from the Tora Bora variety to the space cowboy types living in the White House.
Addressing a crowded press conference, CEO Eric Schmidt disclosed, “We think we’ve developed a killer app, gentlemen. Our new search engine is as explosive as RDX and as impactful as a suicide bomber. The geek gurus at Google have developed this Molotov cocktail after 911 man-years of effort.”
Observers say that the search engine tentatively code-named Whoogle, has been programmed to sift every email, blog post, chat message, classified ad, news and Facebook profile, for intelligent, cryptic and downright stupid messages.
Insider sources are privately confessing that Whoogle may even have the power to hack into CIA, FBI, Interpol, MI-5, ISI and RAW websites as they’ve all been built using specs laid down by the legendary tome – Web Sites for Dummies.
“As we are dealing with very sensitive issues here, we will not be making this available to the general public. Generals and heads of state can access Whoogle by paying a life-time subscription,” chirped a beaming Eric.
Our White House correspondent reports that fed up with the US army’s non-performance in Afghanistan, George Dubya Bush has signed up as the first subscriber.
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